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Honestly, I haven’t felt attractive for theeee longest time. I feel so shitty about my hair, skin, weight. It’s depressing.

Things to do:

-Get my hair looking the way I want it to (considering going back to black because I looooved it and getting extensions because I miss my long hair more than ever)
-Go to the gym at least 3 times a week
-STOP eating chocolate omggg
-START eating veggies and fruit
-Write more
-Draw more
-Sing more
-Get through the last couple of months of college
-Move back to the Hills and out of the city (I am so depressed in the city I hate it with a passion)
-Get my career moving by getting a hairdressing apprenticeship and starting your freelancing business
-Save all my money
-Have more house gatherings once moved, don’t spend money on going out.

Once you have achieved these things:

-QUIT smoking, but we all know you’re not strong enough to handle everything else without your ciggies for now, so that can wait.

I have a mountain of things to say lately.
My life has changed so incredibly dramatically and I don’t know how to deal with it. I miss my mum first of all. She moved away, and I agreed to be left in Sydney alone to continue my course. I wish I didn’t agree, because I miss her so much, although she is so much happier where she is, so I’m being selfish. I miss my life a year ago. I had basically everything I could want. I lived with my family, I had so much support and comfort, I just started seeing my boyfriend, who is quite literally the best person in the whole world, I lived with my best friend, who I haven’t seen in over 2 months and its driving me mental because she went over sea’s. It sounds silly but I felt and looked exactly the way I wanted to, and lately I’ve felt horrible about myself. I just don’t know what to do, I keep looking at the photos I took all of last year and I miss my life more and more each day. Living with random people is really hard to get used to, and having a space that I don’t feel comfortable in is awful. I can feel my mental state slipping away each day into a morbid depression that I just want to get away from more than anything. I haven’t seen my friends properly in months. I feel probably the most alone I have ever felt.
The only good thing is once I gain it all back, which I will because I will fight for it, I will appreciate it all so so much more.